61 UNCLE
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
So you know how i said i wanted to be happier this year and all. well today, i could'nt. Today is the first day in the year 2014, that i cried. So it marks day one of not being happy. I was trying to smile since Organic modelling was productive and my belt was looking how i wanted it to look, cher was super helpful also. But everything changed the minute i took the bus. I went up when i saw the bus and didnt have enough time to take my ez link card out. I started scrambling through my bag for it, by the time the bus reached the next stop and i still havent found my card, the uncle was staring at me and i just asked him if i could alight. Instead of just opening the doors, he scolded me and told me i shouldnt have gone up and also asked(in mandnin)," one bus stop no need to pay?" then i asked him how much even though i knew i had only 40 cents, he was annoyed so he looked away and opened the doors to let me out, then said loudly(in mandrin)" NEXT TIME CANNOT DO THIS" Honestly, i know i am wrong for not preparing my card earlier. but i knew i had it and my bag was huge how to find in like 7 seconds. 7 seconds cause that is the amount of time the bus takes from ngee ann to the next bus stop. Fucking fast. I felt like crying. idk why though. i found my ez link card in my bag. so if only he gave me more time or didnt show any signs of urgency.
I took a cab down to the bus interchange to look for the uncle and pass him money for the ONE STOP that i took for free. When i found him he said he cannot take the money now and that no point alr and etc. so i walked away. he didnt bother what. I had so many other back ups like pretend to drop my money or go up 61 again and pay using ez link and cash. But i didn't do it in the end. I will just pay him the next time i see him. i remember his face. Such a small issue and i am so affected by it. I was supposed to eat lunch with my sister. but i felt too emotionally unstable i told her i cancelled. She asked me to buy food back and i did. who knew she would come walking out the lift to meet her friend for lunch. The food sits on the kitchen counter now as i type this post. Today was really NOT a good day. I can only pray it gets better from here. I wish Singaporeans were more happy and do their job because they love it and not because they have to. why does everything base itself on Olevel certs and grades. If it werent, the uncle would probably be able to get a better job or a better pay. Bus drivers get paid a lot as so many peoples' lives are in their hands. Thats not for me to decide. I want to be happy, this is just a setback. i need time to get over this. I dont feel like talking. I just wanna sleeep and forget this ever happened.
