Annoyed, really
Monday, August 11, 2014
Always sogurt eating with wheefan, including today :)
Hi everyone, i was never going to post this so soon but i am on my computer now attempting to study for my test tomorrow, so i thought why not.The previous week was manageable, like honestly. I really did not feel stress. Ha, mainly cause i did not go for any of my lessons, other than compositing for the test. I do not know what my parents will feel about this because they are spending so much money and here i am skipping school. Well, that is not really it. I skip LESSONS. i still go to school. I do my assignments in school. I just do not see the point in going for lessons when you will be doing your own work. Plus, its pass the debarment period, so i am safe... for now. So that sums up academic wise. Lol, I do not know how i did for the compositing test. But i am sure that even if i get a C, I am happy.
Moving on, my friends and I had an initial plan to go overseas ( Bali) to relax and enjoy ourselves right after the semester ended, Since it was a heck of a semester. We initially planned to go on 18 august which would be a week from now but things did not go the way i expected. Yes, I. its my blog so its from my point of view. Whether or not you see it from my point of view, does not really matter right now, haha. I really wanted to book the flight as soon as possible, because that would mean the trip was confirmed and that i had something to look forward to. As usual, it was not confirmed. It was not exactly last minute when we told them the date and the hotel and all, we were planning to go for a while but no one actually searched the flights and all until the day sykki came over and we decided to look at it. I mean, even without the date, i wonder if they mentioned it to their parents before. like," hey mom, if i was going to go overseas with my friends would it be okay?" Because their parents' answer would give us time to find an adult to accompany if necessary. I understand that they have stricter parents than mine and their parents are more fierce, but.... haix. So now, our tripped is more or less, on hold, or cancelled ( if it was going to be on 18 august). I honestly have no idea whether or not it will be confirmed. They said they have found adults to go with us, but idk if they asked them yet. plus, its in october, the first week, either that or first week in september. bookings have to be done early if not it will be really expensive. I really hope they are serious about it, i know they wanna go , i just want it to happen. A lot of times, my friends tell me they wanna go for stuff and all but it never happens. And its like, i could have planned something else, you get what i mean? joey doesn't like travelling so it leaves the other three. all of which are going to korea. See, if they do not go to bali, they still win themselves a fun trip to korea. what about me? i could have something planned, but if i go to bali without them, it would seem as though i am the bad friend right? going to a trip we planned together with someone else. They are understanding, but in certain times, they might look at things from a more negative point of view.
Now that i have gotten that off my chest, I have to say this. I have no idea whether or not it is because i have many a big assignment due, or if its my period starting to kick in, but my mood was really bad on friday. I got really irritated at one point. Which was weird because i spent most of my time in school finishing up my textures blasting music on my headphones trying to START RENDERING by friday. So i was really focused. I was totally fine, the whole day. really, i felt like i was on good pace and my friends called me out for lunch and all, it was good. Plus, i went to the gym in the morning with SYKKI. So i really wasn't feeling upset or moody AT ALL. so why was i suddenly irritated or irritated at one point, simple. When i am trying to do something or when my mind is set on finishing something by a certain deadline i set for myself, i shut myself out from the world, unless you get my attention my tapping me on the shoulder and stuff. If you pull my earpiece out, i seriously think we should just stop being friends cause that is so f*cking rude. Hahah off topic but anyway, one of my close friends apparently thought i was upset with her or angry with her because i did not talk to her. ya its azlyn. I mean, you know me the best out of the rest cause we hang out the most, and you think i am angry with you? did you do anything to make me angry? am i the type of person who gets angry easily? NO. so why would you think that i was upset with you. I don't get it. And after you asked if i was upset with you and i said No, which was the most honest answer of that time, you told me ," ah i know you angry with me."Honestly, if i was upset or moody i would have told you or told someone in our circle or friends. And also, i did talk to you, i was gonna tell you something really funny that happened in the gym but you were listening to your headphones so i left it as that. Then sharis came in and you had company, so i thought, good, now she has someone to entertain her while she is doing her work so she won't get bored or whatever. I was telling valerie about the incident that happened in the gym when you saw us talking and you started complaining that you were not invited to the conversation and that i only wanted to talk to valerie and all. & that was went i got irritated. I already said i was not upset, but if you keep poking at it and keep on saying things about how i never talk to you or how i want to talk to other people, you are just .... idk? making me angry? trying to get me to talk to you? maybe instead of assuming that i am angry with you, ask ," how is your work" that would be a better question since it is relevant and gives you an answer you would probably accept. Because you asking me if i am angry with you and i replying No, doesn't satisfy. what was i supposed to say? YES? but i was not angry. I really do not get you sometimes. you should know if i was angry i would tell you. guess not. Whats worse? It dragged on after the lab closed. How can you think i would be angry with you, for no reason, ask me about it, and me telling you no, and you still pressing on about it, and after that i told you the funny thing that happened in the gym , and you still think i am upset with you. WAT. When i was outside the lab, waiting for the rest of the group, everyone came out but azlyn. During which, i was told, " azlyn says she is going to wear her earpiece because you are not going to talk to her" and " azzy want you to talk to her first". Really? I already talked to you. Is there a conversation minimum that we have to reach everyday? cause i didn't know that. I mean, on days you also don't feel like talking what or you do not talk to me as much, i don't complain or think you are angry. even if i did, i'd talk to you, or leave you till you are better, depending on the situation. But hey, it happened on friday. i'm over it. just needed to express it somewhere.
Today is my last show on heatwave also. Lol. okay. bye lynette, gonna miss u. haha my best budddy eva. plus i love the management <3 really wanted to join them for dinner but i guess, the test tmr is more important. I really hope that if any of my classmates are early, they don't read their damn notes out loud or like tell me what they know or what they never study for and erm if we get our marks, i hope they do not ask me for mine. Kay bye. xoxoxo
"I have never given someone so much attention before, and i sincerely wished the someone i spent all that attention on, actually appreciated it/me"
