It's been a while. So much has happened. I am not doing Dentistry at the moment. However, That is still my goal. I am currently taking a Bachelor of Science majoring in Zoology. My plan is to apply with a post grad into Dentistry. 

Anyway, Last friday there were shootings in Christchurch. I was home, minding my own business when I saw the news.  I was scared. I still am.  It s like fighting fire with fire. It will not change anything. They are scared so they are killing other people before those people kill them. It does not make sense. I prayed , every day for Jesus to protect me and for peace in the world. It is just really shocking and scary especially when his original target was Dunedin. It could have been my friends there. I just feel so scared. 

The past few days, with the start of every lecture, we would be reminded of the incident that took place in Christchurch. They told us we could go to them, talk to them if we have any concerns or if we need some counselling.  There is a place on campus, where we  could write notes of encouragement and support for our muslim brothers and sisters. All these are really nice gestures but it doesn't change much. New Zealand is no longer as safe as we thought, nowhere is safe. Some gatherings were cancelled in light of the Vigil happening tonight. That's where I am going to. Wahi is going, so is Sua. 

" The vigil will begin with a manawhenua welcome and will include speeches by the Mayor and representatives of the Muslim community, the Otago University Amnesty International Group, and prayers from faith groups across the city."

It is for  a good cause and I am more than happy to be a part of. However, I am still scared. It is a big event and security will be tight , but i can't help think someone might slip through our hands. So, if that happens and i die, I just want to say, I am really grateful for everything. 

Everytime i go to church or pray, the one thing i never miss out is saying " Jesus please teach me to be more grateful". I have so many things, I am so well loved by my parents who sacrificed so much for me to be here today. I love and appreciate them so much. Although i still have areas of improvement, mostly money related, I still thank them for being so patient with me. 

I have this blog, where i pour out my feelings to. Everything I have gone through and had no one to tell, I would have written it here. I do not know if it will matter or not when I am gone but at least my friends will know how much I love them and my parents too. 

My phone might have stuff that is r-rated or just obscene as my friends and I share stuff. Delete it all. Erase everything. Things that are worth knowing are either on this blog or tangible, like letters i wrote but never sent. 

Sorry i do not have money to leave you with but i do have unopened BB cream from Korea so if you want it, take it. I guess that is all. 

I might be overthinking , but my fear is nothing compared to what Muslims feel. 

God please watch over me. 

It's been a while. So much has happened. I am not doing Dentistry at the moment. However, That is still my goal. I am currently taking a Bachelor of Science majoring in Zoology. My plan is to apply with a post grad into Dentistry. 

Anyway, Last friday there were shootings in Christchurch. I was home, minding my own business when I saw the news.  I was scared. I still am.  It s like fighting fire with fire. It will not change anything. They are scared so they are killing other people before those people kill them. It does not make sense. I prayed , every day for Jesus to protect me and for peace in the world. It is just really shocking and scary especially when his original target was Dunedin. It could have been my friends there. I just feel so scared. 

The past few days, with the start of every lecture, we would be reminded of the incident that took place in Christchurch. They told us we could go to them, talk to them if we have any concerns or if we need some counselling.  There is a place on campus, where we  could write notes of encouragement and support for our muslim brothers and sisters. All these are really nice gestures but it doesn't change much. New Zealand is no longer as safe as we thought, nowhere is safe. Some gatherings were cancelled in light of the Vigil happening tonight. That's where I am going to. Wahi is going, so is Sua. 

" The vigil will begin with a manawhenua welcome and will include speeches by the Mayor and representatives of the Muslim community, the Otago University Amnesty International Group, and prayers from faith groups across the city."

It is for  a good cause and I am more than happy to be a part of. However, I am still scared. It is a big event and security will be tight , but i can't help think someone might slip through our hands. So, if that happens and i die, I just want to say, I am really grateful for everything. 

Everytime i go to church or pray, the one thing i never miss out is saying " Jesus please teach me to be more grateful". I have so many things, I am so well loved by my parents who sacrificed so much for me to be here today. I love and appreciate them so much. Although i still have areas of improvement, mostly money related, I still thank them for being so patient with me. 

I have this blog, where i pour out my feelings to. Everything I have gone through and had no one to tell, I would have written it here. I do not know if it will matter or not when I am gone but at least my friends will know how much I love them and my parents too. 

My phone might have stuff that is r-rated or just obscene as my friends and I share stuff. Delete it all. Erase everything. Things that are worth knowing are either on this blog or tangible, like letters i wrote but never sent. 

Sorry i do not have money to leave you with but i do have unopened BB cream from Korea so if you want it, take it. I guess that is all. 

I might be overthinking , but my fear is nothing compared to what Muslims feel. 

God please watch over me.