Hi everyone, i just wanted talk more about my confidence level and some school stuff.

First things first, working hard for internship paid off as i obtained a GPA 4 for this semester alone. That would pull up my grades a lot and we all know I need that. Valerie also, yay! We really wanted to do well this semester and god blessed us with such great bosses and a conducive environment for us to work in. I told my parents and they were happy for me also. Haha people say its easy to get a GPA 4 for the internship semester, come on, nothing comes easy. We worked hard for this. Valerie worked harder maybe, but I am really proud of this achievement. I am now one step closer to going to Ewha Women's University. Haha yes this is my back up plan, or maybe working right after i graduate is my back up plan. 

I want to study there, or at least take a semester in language there. Things to do? Maintain or improve my GPA. The other half of my class, they did not do very well for this semester. Sykki said its because they all lost motivation and did not put as much effort. I am scared. If I fail any of my modules, I would have to stay back one more semester to take that module and graduate later than my classmates. I do not want that. We came in together, we should graduate together. Although some of them already dropped out and a few are staying back for a year. 

Okay so that is all I have to say about the school portion. Now for the confidence. This area really needs work, I am serious. It is so difficult. For some people, putting on make up makes them confident, for other people dressing up makes them confident. For me, it is both. Even with both, my confidence is only at about 60% and when people look at me when i walk pass them (they had their eyes directed at me, not me thinking everyone is looking at me), it is worse. I would think they are looking at me because they are thinking," Ew her tummy sticks out in that top" , " Omg her legs are huge", " her arms are so big and bulky", nothing positive basically.  Also, when people (boys) stop talking me, i will immediately think it is cause I am fat or cause I am ugly and they do not have time for this kind of people. Most of them will say they are busy at that time, but I would not even bother to continue the conversation. 

Haha "why don't you do something about it" you may ask. Here is my explanation. Running is awesome and great if you want to release stress and feel happy (certain hormones are produced). Nowadays though, I am always so tired when i get back from work, main reason is that I have been having really bad insomnia. Hence, I have been trying a new method.  Seems like its worked for many of my schoolmates, this is none other than starving. I like to call it "Setting limits" because sometimes you are really not hungry but you eat because you are bored.  

I started about one week ago. i do not own a weighing scale, and my parents are very slow when they say they will buy something, so I compromised and used a measuring tape to measure my waist. The measurement was, well, huge. HAHA. But after 1 week or less, I have lost 1.5 inches. Idk how accurate this is but we will find out at the end of next week. heh. Okay, do not get me wrong, by starving i do not mean completely blocking myself out from food, I eat, i just eat less. Dieting. omg , dieting would be the right word. I have avoided sweet drinks and fast food , lel okay once a month that is, CHEAT DAY.  You might think this way is unhealthy or my body is not getting enough nutrients, I feel healthy and happy! I will feel even better every time I see the size of my waist decrease. I really hope my close friends who read my blog, support me in this journey okay. I will go back to gymming once i achieve my desired size. 

okay I think i am done for this post. love you all xx

Hi everyone, i just wanted talk more about my confidence level and some school stuff.

First things first, working hard for internship paid off as i obtained a GPA 4 for this semester alone. That would pull up my grades a lot and we all know I need that. Valerie also, yay! We really wanted to do well this semester and god blessed us with such great bosses and a conducive environment for us to work in. I told my parents and they were happy for me also. Haha people say its easy to get a GPA 4 for the internship semester, come on, nothing comes easy. We worked hard for this. Valerie worked harder maybe, but I am really proud of this achievement. I am now one step closer to going to Ewha Women's University. Haha yes this is my back up plan, or maybe working right after i graduate is my back up plan. 

I want to study there, or at least take a semester in language there. Things to do? Maintain or improve my GPA. The other half of my class, they did not do very well for this semester. Sykki said its because they all lost motivation and did not put as much effort. I am scared. If I fail any of my modules, I would have to stay back one more semester to take that module and graduate later than my classmates. I do not want that. We came in together, we should graduate together. Although some of them already dropped out and a few are staying back for a year. 

Okay so that is all I have to say about the school portion. Now for the confidence. This area really needs work, I am serious. It is so difficult. For some people, putting on make up makes them confident, for other people dressing up makes them confident. For me, it is both. Even with both, my confidence is only at about 60% and when people look at me when i walk pass them (they had their eyes directed at me, not me thinking everyone is looking at me), it is worse. I would think they are looking at me because they are thinking," Ew her tummy sticks out in that top" , " Omg her legs are huge", " her arms are so big and bulky", nothing positive basically.  Also, when people (boys) stop talking me, i will immediately think it is cause I am fat or cause I am ugly and they do not have time for this kind of people. Most of them will say they are busy at that time, but I would not even bother to continue the conversation. 

Haha "why don't you do something about it" you may ask. Here is my explanation. Running is awesome and great if you want to release stress and feel happy (certain hormones are produced). Nowadays though, I am always so tired when i get back from work, main reason is that I have been having really bad insomnia. Hence, I have been trying a new method.  Seems like its worked for many of my schoolmates, this is none other than starving. I like to call it "Setting limits" because sometimes you are really not hungry but you eat because you are bored.  

I started about one week ago. i do not own a weighing scale, and my parents are very slow when they say they will buy something, so I compromised and used a measuring tape to measure my waist. The measurement was, well, huge. HAHA. But after 1 week or less, I have lost 1.5 inches. Idk how accurate this is but we will find out at the end of next week. heh. Okay, do not get me wrong, by starving i do not mean completely blocking myself out from food, I eat, i just eat less. Dieting. omg , dieting would be the right word. I have avoided sweet drinks and fast food , lel okay once a month that is, CHEAT DAY.  You might think this way is unhealthy or my body is not getting enough nutrients, I feel healthy and happy! I will feel even better every time I see the size of my waist decrease. I really hope my close friends who read my blog, support me in this journey okay. I will go back to gymming once i achieve my desired size. 

okay I think i am done for this post. love you all xx