Hi everyone. School has ended and so has my first ever relationship. 7th November he showed up at my place around noon and decided to dump me. He spoke to his mum about troubles we had and decided that was a good idea. I guess it could be. I am just so broken right now. At some point i knew we wouldnt last but i felt like we would be able to work through it and something magical would happen but magic is not real. 5 days of pain and here i am still crying over the same guy. Everyday for the last 5 days i have been drinking and crying myself to sleep. Friends distract me a while but when I am alone in my bed its different. I am still replying him that quick. He probably knows that too, so he is using me whenever he can just cause he knows i am there and will do shit for him. I don't know he messed me up big time. I opened up to him and told him everything I was nervous to tell other people and he told me he loved me, but men always disappoint. That is all i have been experiencing my entire life. I thought he was the first good man i could trust but its not true. they dont exist. I cant go home to my family because of the covid situation but i wish i could. I dont know what more days alone at home will do to me. I am hurt.
