Where do I even begin?

Let's just start with how I fell down at the start of the year and said it can only get better. Well, somehow it got worse. I am not sure who told God I was his strongest soldier but SIR! Please calm down. There have been so many curve balls thrown at me in the last few months that I am mentally unprepared for the rest of the year to come. 

January

It is currently the start of May so I will start recapping by month. Starting off with January.  January started all good with quite a few days of sunshine and a few dates here and there with the men I met on Bumble.  I watched The Boy and The Heron, another Hayao Miyazaki film that was way too long for what the story was worth. Still nice to get out and walk around though. The weather was nice too so I spent some days sunbathing on the beach and swimming in the sea with Angela and Carolina.

This is where the bad things start again. I went to watch a movie with Frank and after that, we decided to take a drive around the car park in Westfield New Market. It was going fine, he did mention he had only been for one class prior but he also said the teacher complimented him. I trusted him enough to drive my car anyway.  A few rounds around the car park before moving down a level and he did well. I was holding on to the steering wheel just in case. On the third bend, I asked him to try going down himself and he seemed pretty confident (so I thought). He was going to fast towards the end and panicked and we crashed. I took over driving but there was a loud screeching every time I drove which made me panic and call Joseph. Joseph thought it was me initially who damaged the car but after he found out it was Frank, he was even more disappointed.  From that night, I Uber-ed to work and walked home till my car was sorted. Thankfully, Frank did not run off. He paid for all the damages in full. The front bumper is still a bit scratched up but it does not bother me, the car drives fine now and that is all that matters. I enjoyed the walks home, it was a nice time for me to detach myself from my surroundings and just be at peace with my music and nature. I also bought new headphones. It was a good time, I felt like my body was being taken care of and I do not feel as exhausted when I move for long periods or go to the gym. 

During this time, I started my internship at Pest Free Kaipatiki. It was not paid so it was actually just volunteering. I learned so much from this place from weeding to pest control methods. My main focus in this company was to help them with their social media platforms and work on creating videos for them to use on YouTube. I got to go on a few field trips where we tracked and laid out chew cards to monitor what kind of pests roamed the area. I also did spotlighting where we got to spot insects and native lizards in their natural habitat. None of which I had the opportunity to do during my time in Otago. I thought to myself, things are starting to brighten up. 

Februrary

My car got fixed soon after I started my internship and I was in a good place. 

The work at PFK was flexible which allowed me to spend time with my friends but also finish work by the deadline. Soon, I was going to Desa Corner almost every week and having the Nasi Goreng Kampung which tastes exactly like the Nasi Goreng Ikan Billis I used to have back in Singapore with Nicholas. That and desserts! Ice cream or Frozen Yogurt with the best company as well. 

Things were going quite smoothly in February. At this time, I was doing 3-4 days in the dental practice and 2-3 days at PFK - mostly from home. I was in a good place, I felt quite a good work-life balance at this time. On Valentine's Day, it was no surprise. I minimized my contact with Frank since the accident so there was no chance of us hanging out for Valentine's Day. Adam was in Hamilton - as always, and too minimal effort to come up and hang with me on Valentine's Day either. So I went with my number one choice, Celina! Joseph also asked me to hang out for Valentine's Day - as we did last year. So it ended up being 3 of us spending time together. We had malatang for dinner then I went to karaoke with Celina! It was the best time. 

A few days later, Joseph asked me if I could be his sober driver for a gig he was attending with his mates and I said yes. Spending time with Celina has helped improve my mental health and also my social battery so I am more inclined to say yes now. I told him I would drop by and say hi to his mates as well while I was there. He was really excited as we have known each other for a long time but I have never got the guts to meet his mates. It was different that day. I ended up staying till they had to go to the gig and it was such a good time. His mates, just like Joseph himself, were so kind and friendly. I also met Luke, who I spoke to on Instagram a year prior and we never met up. So nice to put a face to the name.  I clicked with Nakkita on the spot and we have been friends since. Funny we could have met 2 years ago. We ended up visiting a cat cafe the day after. 

Oh, I almost forgot, during this time, I also made a pact with Joseph. Seeing how our love lives are so bad, I suggested we try dating if we are still single by the end of the year.  I thought it was a great suggestion, we know each other so well as best friends and he had been showering me with a lot of kindness and flowers. That sparked something in me. 

His flowers and kind words would always come when I needed them most. Almost like he knew what was going on in my life without my having to give him any sort of input. I found myself slowly wanting to know him more, but not as a friend. In late February, things started to take a turn for the worse. I fractured my ankle. Not the whole thing but an extra bone I had. Enough to leave me lying in bed and moaning every few minutes. It started as a girl's night out with Celina. I was prepared to get drunk and have the time of my life when I tripped in a pothole on a pathway in Chancery. I was left sitting for a good 10 minutes before I got up and limped my way to Karaoke. I was still joking at this stage, calling Joseph and seeing if he cared - he did. We did karaoke for a while before the pain was too much to handle. We went straight to Shore Care at about 2am in the morning and had the nurse look at it only to go home and return 5 hours later for the X-ray and diagnosis. It was official. I fractured the seasmoid bone in my left foot.

 

I was OUT of work for 2 weeks. Nice. Can it get worse? yes. I got Covid a week later. But in these dark times, let's look on the bright side, I MET THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!! In my moon boot of course. To the friends I made and will never see again! It was amazing. I teared up a couple times but hey! TOTALLY WORTH IT. That night was also memorable for another reason. Joseph stayed over. He picked me up after the concert and dropped Carolina off. Then I asked if he wanted to stayover, and he did. That was the first sleepover we had in our 2 year friendship. It was nice.

My days at the dental clinic were reduced after a dentist suddenly resigned. Leaving me stuck with 2-3 day work weeks alternatively. I couldn't survive on that pay scale. I asked Nick if I could come in and get some hours and he told me I could so I came in on a Tuesday. Boy, did that spark something in the managers.  They called for a meeting the day after and guess what? Nothing. I am still working the same 2-3 days but on top of that, they accused me of doing things I did not do and called for a disciplinary meeting. How the fuck did me wanting my original hours back turn into serious misconduct in the company leading to possible termination? Girllllllllll. A joke. A total joke. That's when I knew, I could not do this alone. I called for a lawyer and this takes us straight to March. 

March

Joseph and I started to get more serious. He came over really often and stayed the night most of the week. I enjoyed spending time with him and because I was still in my moon boot, it really showed how caring he is as a person and potential partner. Apart from the complications at work, I did have some time in March to just focus on the people around me and my internship. I went to the zoo with the other interns, met Joseph's niece, and had nice cuddle therapy with the cat that visits my house. I also spent a lot of my time hanging around Joseph and his friends now. Of course, Celina came as well. I thought how nice it would be if Celina dated one of his friends. That way we could double-date all the time. Doubts on it ever happen though. Somewhere along the meals I cooked and shared with Joseph, coupled with the sleepovers we had, we got together officially. It has been nothing but a blessing. 

I received a message from my manager in March scheduling a meeting to discuss my official hours being the same hours I was working at the time with no compensation for the lack of hours I am getting as a result of the dentist leaving. I was appalled. I needed some time to clear my mind and left the email unresponded till I knew what I wanted to say. My internship was coming to an end as well and my fellow interns were returning to America so we caught up with some coffee before they left. Clare mentioned she was going to get a tattoo which made me think, I want a tattoo too. I told Celina as we talked about getting matching tattoos in the past but never got around to it. This time, we did. Same spot on our body with a similar design. Our first matching tattoo. 

At this point, Life was feeling good. I did not have that much time to worry about the complications at work as I had the greatest people around me and they distracted me from things I could not control. Of course, during times like this, God decides he wants to give me another test. 

So here comes April. 

April

Filled with good and bad, here is April. Things go bad at the start of the month. April Fools Day. I received an email from my manager noting that I have been "ignoring calls and emails from management" and that my behavior at work is not up to standard. My jaw dropped and my heart sank. What the fuck was she on about. Immediately, I knew I needed a lawyer on my case. I called and emailed and managed to find one that was close to home as well. I had a meeting with my lawyer and started planning for this disciplinary meeting. 

Time flew by and the meeting came. The meeting itself did not last very long. There were, however, a lot of allegations and protocols that were not followed. I also knew that there were spies around me that I was warned about. During this time, she showed her true colors. Grace. Of all people Grace. Really? I worked with her for so long. We had a bond like no other and she was the one that stabbed me in the back? All for what? What does she have to gain from this? I still do not understand. I work with her the most and I know her well. Not helping me would not help her either. I felt AWFUL. It was like finding out you have lost a friend within 12 hours. The day before you're texting like besties and the next day, SILENCE. Nothing at all. It was haunting. Since then, I have been put on leave and not allowed to go into the work area till instructed. 

During this time, I have been going for walks and trying to do things at home to keep myself busy. Joseph, of course, has been nothing but a pillar of support. Always ready to catch me in his arms when I burst into tears. Every day I wake up in fear of another email, accusing me of things I did not do. I am honestly, not mentally capable of taking this sort of information well. I have another meeting coming up next week. I want this sorted then. I refuse to have any more of my life taken up by stresses and worries from this company. 

2024, I told you to be nice to me. What the fuck happened?

 Where do I even begin?

Let's just start with how I fell down at the start of the year and said it can only get better. Well, somehow it got worse. I am not sure who told God I was his strongest soldier but SIR! Please calm down. There have been so many curve balls thrown at me in the last few months that I am mentally unprepared for the rest of the year to come. 

January

It is currently the start of May so I will start recapping by month. Starting off with January.  January started all good with quite a few days of sunshine and a few dates here and there with the men I met on Bumble.  I watched The Boy and The Heron, another Hayao Miyazaki film that was way too long for what the story was worth. Still nice to get out and walk around though. The weather was nice too so I spent some days sunbathing on the beach and swimming in the sea with Angela and Carolina.

This is where the bad things start again. I went to watch a movie with Frank and after that, we decided to take a drive around the car park in Westfield New Market. It was going fine, he did mention he had only been for one class prior but he also said the teacher complimented him. I trusted him enough to drive my car anyway.  A few rounds around the car park before moving down a level and he did well. I was holding on to the steering wheel just in case. On the third bend, I asked him to try going down himself and he seemed pretty confident (so I thought). He was going to fast towards the end and panicked and we crashed. I took over driving but there was a loud screeching every time I drove which made me panic and call Joseph. Joseph thought it was me initially who damaged the car but after he found out it was Frank, he was even more disappointed.  From that night, I Uber-ed to work and walked home till my car was sorted. Thankfully, Frank did not run off. He paid for all the damages in full. The front bumper is still a bit scratched up but it does not bother me, the car drives fine now and that is all that matters. I enjoyed the walks home, it was a nice time for me to detach myself from my surroundings and just be at peace with my music and nature. I also bought new headphones. It was a good time, I felt like my body was being taken care of and I do not feel as exhausted when I move for long periods or go to the gym. 

During this time, I started my internship at Pest Free Kaipatiki. It was not paid so it was actually just volunteering. I learned so much from this place from weeding to pest control methods. My main focus in this company was to help them with their social media platforms and work on creating videos for them to use on YouTube. I got to go on a few field trips where we tracked and laid out chew cards to monitor what kind of pests roamed the area. I also did spotlighting where we got to spot insects and native lizards in their natural habitat. None of which I had the opportunity to do during my time in Otago. I thought to myself, things are starting to brighten up. 

Februrary

My car got fixed soon after I started my internship and I was in a good place. 

The work at PFK was flexible which allowed me to spend time with my friends but also finish work by the deadline. Soon, I was going to Desa Corner almost every week and having the Nasi Goreng Kampung which tastes exactly like the Nasi Goreng Ikan Billis I used to have back in Singapore with Nicholas. That and desserts! Ice cream or Frozen Yogurt with the best company as well. 

Things were going quite smoothly in February. At this time, I was doing 3-4 days in the dental practice and 2-3 days at PFK - mostly from home. I was in a good place, I felt quite a good work-life balance at this time. On Valentine's Day, it was no surprise. I minimized my contact with Frank since the accident so there was no chance of us hanging out for Valentine's Day. Adam was in Hamilton - as always, and too minimal effort to come up and hang with me on Valentine's Day either. So I went with my number one choice, Celina! Joseph also asked me to hang out for Valentine's Day - as we did last year. So it ended up being 3 of us spending time together. We had malatang for dinner then I went to karaoke with Celina! It was the best time. 

A few days later, Joseph asked me if I could be his sober driver for a gig he was attending with his mates and I said yes. Spending time with Celina has helped improve my mental health and also my social battery so I am more inclined to say yes now. I told him I would drop by and say hi to his mates as well while I was there. He was really excited as we have known each other for a long time but I have never got the guts to meet his mates. It was different that day. I ended up staying till they had to go to the gig and it was such a good time. His mates, just like Joseph himself, were so kind and friendly. I also met Luke, who I spoke to on Instagram a year prior and we never met up. So nice to put a face to the name.  I clicked with Nakkita on the spot and we have been friends since. Funny we could have met 2 years ago. We ended up visiting a cat cafe the day after. 

Oh, I almost forgot, during this time, I also made a pact with Joseph. Seeing how our love lives are so bad, I suggested we try dating if we are still single by the end of the year.  I thought it was a great suggestion, we know each other so well as best friends and he had been showering me with a lot of kindness and flowers. That sparked something in me. 

His flowers and kind words would always come when I needed them most. Almost like he knew what was going on in my life without my having to give him any sort of input. I found myself slowly wanting to know him more, but not as a friend. In late February, things started to take a turn for the worse. I fractured my ankle. Not the whole thing but an extra bone I had. Enough to leave me lying in bed and moaning every few minutes. It started as a girl's night out with Celina. I was prepared to get drunk and have the time of my life when I tripped in a pothole on a pathway in Chancery. I was left sitting for a good 10 minutes before I got up and limped my way to Karaoke. I was still joking at this stage, calling Joseph and seeing if he cared - he did. We did karaoke for a while before the pain was too much to handle. We went straight to Shore Care at about 2am in the morning and had the nurse look at it only to go home and return 5 hours later for the X-ray and diagnosis. It was official. I fractured the seasmoid bone in my left foot.

 

I was OUT of work for 2 weeks. Nice. Can it get worse? yes. I got Covid a week later. But in these dark times, let's look on the bright side, I MET THE JONAS BROTHERS!!!! In my moon boot of course. To the friends I made and will never see again! It was amazing. I teared up a couple times but hey! TOTALLY WORTH IT. That night was also memorable for another reason. Joseph stayed over. He picked me up after the concert and dropped Carolina off. Then I asked if he wanted to stayover, and he did. That was the first sleepover we had in our 2 year friendship. It was nice.

My days at the dental clinic were reduced after a dentist suddenly resigned. Leaving me stuck with 2-3 day work weeks alternatively. I couldn't survive on that pay scale. I asked Nick if I could come in and get some hours and he told me I could so I came in on a Tuesday. Boy, did that spark something in the managers.  They called for a meeting the day after and guess what? Nothing. I am still working the same 2-3 days but on top of that, they accused me of doing things I did not do and called for a disciplinary meeting. How the fuck did me wanting my original hours back turn into serious misconduct in the company leading to possible termination? Girllllllllll. A joke. A total joke. That's when I knew, I could not do this alone. I called for a lawyer and this takes us straight to March. 

March

Joseph and I started to get more serious. He came over really often and stayed the night most of the week. I enjoyed spending time with him and because I was still in my moon boot, it really showed how caring he is as a person and potential partner. Apart from the complications at work, I did have some time in March to just focus on the people around me and my internship. I went to the zoo with the other interns, met Joseph's niece, and had nice cuddle therapy with the cat that visits my house. I also spent a lot of my time hanging around Joseph and his friends now. Of course, Celina came as well. I thought how nice it would be if Celina dated one of his friends. That way we could double-date all the time. Doubts on it ever happen though. Somewhere along the meals I cooked and shared with Joseph, coupled with the sleepovers we had, we got together officially. It has been nothing but a blessing. 

I received a message from my manager in March scheduling a meeting to discuss my official hours being the same hours I was working at the time with no compensation for the lack of hours I am getting as a result of the dentist leaving. I was appalled. I needed some time to clear my mind and left the email unresponded till I knew what I wanted to say. My internship was coming to an end as well and my fellow interns were returning to America so we caught up with some coffee before they left. Clare mentioned she was going to get a tattoo which made me think, I want a tattoo too. I told Celina as we talked about getting matching tattoos in the past but never got around to it. This time, we did. Same spot on our body with a similar design. Our first matching tattoo. 

At this point, Life was feeling good. I did not have that much time to worry about the complications at work as I had the greatest people around me and they distracted me from things I could not control. Of course, during times like this, God decides he wants to give me another test. 

So here comes April. 

April

Filled with good and bad, here is April. Things go bad at the start of the month. April Fools Day. I received an email from my manager noting that I have been "ignoring calls and emails from management" and that my behavior at work is not up to standard. My jaw dropped and my heart sank. What the fuck was she on about. Immediately, I knew I needed a lawyer on my case. I called and emailed and managed to find one that was close to home as well. I had a meeting with my lawyer and started planning for this disciplinary meeting. 

Time flew by and the meeting came. The meeting itself did not last very long. There were, however, a lot of allegations and protocols that were not followed. I also knew that there were spies around me that I was warned about. During this time, she showed her true colors. Grace. Of all people Grace. Really? I worked with her for so long. We had a bond like no other and she was the one that stabbed me in the back? All for what? What does she have to gain from this? I still do not understand. I work with her the most and I know her well. Not helping me would not help her either. I felt AWFUL. It was like finding out you have lost a friend within 12 hours. The day before you're texting like besties and the next day, SILENCE. Nothing at all. It was haunting. Since then, I have been put on leave and not allowed to go into the work area till instructed. 

During this time, I have been going for walks and trying to do things at home to keep myself busy. Joseph, of course, has been nothing but a pillar of support. Always ready to catch me in his arms when I burst into tears. Every day I wake up in fear of another email, accusing me of things I did not do. I am honestly, not mentally capable of taking this sort of information well. I have another meeting coming up next week. I want this sorted then. I refuse to have any more of my life taken up by stresses and worries from this company. 

2024, I told you to be nice to me. What the fuck happened?