Okay Hi everyone, its been a month since i last posted and yeap, i feel no need go in dept on my birthday celebration as i am going to remember it for sure. 

So this post is going to be one of those deep thought posts. Recently, a lot of people have been asking me what I plan to do for the future, what uni I want to go to, what i want to be when i grow up. I do not know. I have interest in the arts and thats all i know of. I don't see myself in the future holding a boom mike and adjusting audio, yes it is okay and i do not mind but its not my first choice.  

If i ever were to be part of a filming crew, i picture myself as the producer. Giving directions wherever necessary, finding the cast and such. I want to be an actress, always had that dream. Having people telling me," hey you acted so well" having watched my films and stuff. I am really grateful my company has given me that opportunity. To re-live my acting dreams, ok lol its only one line but still.. 

And today, i heard one of the cast members saying she do freelance acting, saying its what she wants to do and she took mc today just so she could come for the shoot. It opened my eyes even more. These people know what they want to achieve in life and are working towards that. But me? idek, and even if i did, i would not do anything to work towards it. I need someone to guide me along. But who?

The pressure is heating up, its like when i tell people i do not know what i want for my future, they look disappointed, judging me, in their heads its like they are saying," she has no goals... she won't go far", BUT THATS NOT IT.  I am still at the stage of experimenting. I am one who believes everything happens for a reason.  God put me in Visual Effects for a reason. I was meant to be exposed to life in the media industry, sleeping late, meeting datelines and all that. But still, i haven't found something i am super interested in, or something i will not get bored of in the next 10, 20 years. I do not want to drag myself to work. I want to go there, excited for a new day's adventure. Then again,its all in perspective. Tough its really tough.

I really thought about a lot of things lately,  but one of the things i still cannot understand is how i am not as interested in going to church like before. Maybe its my lying getting better or my parents forcing getting weaker, but i haven't been to church in 2 weeks, both times i told them i went to St Mary's when i did not. I miss jesus, but i feel i need another way to get that connection back. help?

Okay Hi everyone, its been a month since i last posted and yeap, i feel no need go in dept on my birthday celebration as i am going to remember it for sure. 

So this post is going to be one of those deep thought posts. Recently, a lot of people have been asking me what I plan to do for the future, what uni I want to go to, what i want to be when i grow up. I do not know. I have interest in the arts and thats all i know of. I don't see myself in the future holding a boom mike and adjusting audio, yes it is okay and i do not mind but its not my first choice.  

If i ever were to be part of a filming crew, i picture myself as the producer. Giving directions wherever necessary, finding the cast and such. I want to be an actress, always had that dream. Having people telling me," hey you acted so well" having watched my films and stuff. I am really grateful my company has given me that opportunity. To re-live my acting dreams, ok lol its only one line but still.. 

And today, i heard one of the cast members saying she do freelance acting, saying its what she wants to do and she took mc today just so she could come for the shoot. It opened my eyes even more. These people know what they want to achieve in life and are working towards that. But me? idek, and even if i did, i would not do anything to work towards it. I need someone to guide me along. But who?

The pressure is heating up, its like when i tell people i do not know what i want for my future, they look disappointed, judging me, in their heads its like they are saying," she has no goals... she won't go far", BUT THATS NOT IT.  I am still at the stage of experimenting. I am one who believes everything happens for a reason.  God put me in Visual Effects for a reason. I was meant to be exposed to life in the media industry, sleeping late, meeting datelines and all that. But still, i haven't found something i am super interested in, or something i will not get bored of in the next 10, 20 years. I do not want to drag myself to work. I want to go there, excited for a new day's adventure. Then again,its all in perspective. Tough its really tough.

I really thought about a lot of things lately,  but one of the things i still cannot understand is how i am not as interested in going to church like before. Maybe its my lying getting better or my parents forcing getting weaker, but i haven't been to church in 2 weeks, both times i told them i went to St Mary's when i did not. I miss jesus, but i feel i need another way to get that connection back. help?