Hi everyone, It is November, an estimated 6 months after my official graduation from Ngee Ann Poly and here I am, sitting on my bed at home updating my blog. The previous post was related to my mental health and today's post is somewhat similar.

For the people reading to get an update on my life, here it is. The past two months, crazy. The whole of September to October was spent clubbing and having fun with the money i saved from working full time. Bad choice? for my liver maybe. But what i think is, I am young and i should enjoy while I can. Plans? I plan to apply to SIM and study English with Film Studies in July 2017. Before that i want to work and travel, same plan i had since so long ago.

Recently, my course senior passed away. I was not close to him, neither have I spoken to him. But just knowing he existed in my life at one point or another is just extremely upsetting. He committed suicide by jumping off a building, with reasons everyone is unsure of. That got me thinking, how much can a person take till he/she feels his life is not worth it anymore? because i know i am feeling like ending my life soon too.

I finally got the courage to tell my parents the truth of what has been going on with me recently. Like how i lost my ic and posb card, me getting fired from a part time job. I obviously did not want more on their shoulders, which is why i kept it from them. I also opened up about being suicidal having not know what i want to do and i feel very very emotionally unstable. I sleep a lot on my off days, because i am so tired of everything and my insomnia gets worse by the day. Also, sleeping is the only time no one can disturb you and you are completely blocked out from the world. But back to my parents, I expected them to tell me everything will be okay or that people are different, i should't compare myself others or rush myself to do something when i have no clue yet.

Just fyi, i was going to work at a mama shop, just to make additional cash so i get get by with life. My mom was not happy about that as she says she paid $12k for my poly education and expects me to get a better job. I probably earn more at the mama shop doing part time rather than some big company doing something i dislike. They also blamed me for depending on my friends too much, saying i treat my friends and go to my friends more than i go them. I mean, i tell my friends more stuff, obviously. But why? Because they are my parents and we have established this relationship, they have the upper hand and I listen to them and i am scared of them.

Like will i go tell my parents about my losing my virginity or stealing stuff? No? because I myself know it's wrong and they would just be telling me off and nagging at me things i have heard so much. When you tell your friends though, they tell you things to try and change your perception instead of just scolding. Lik my friends know stealing is wrong but they are putting me responsible for my actions. It has come to the point, Naomi, someone who vowed never to steal, would do it because she is what, broke? wants the thrill?? Idk, i do not even talk to most of my poly friends anymore and if you reading this, feel like i am a bad influence and/or do not wish to be my friend anymore, i understand. You would know how i am, you decide for yourself okay.

I have said this before and i will say this again, i NEVER EVER want my child to feel like this. NEVER.

I don't know what else to tell my parents, i don't know wht to do. I just want to make my own money and move out. live alone or something my whole family never thought i could do. I am going to do it. That is, if i do not kill myself first.

Hi everyone, It is November, an estimated 6 months after my official graduation from Ngee Ann Poly and here I am, sitting on my bed at home updating my blog. The previous post was related to my mental health and today's post is somewhat similar.

For the people reading to get an update on my life, here it is. The past two months, crazy. The whole of September to October was spent clubbing and having fun with the money i saved from working full time. Bad choice? for my liver maybe. But what i think is, I am young and i should enjoy while I can. Plans? I plan to apply to SIM and study English with Film Studies in July 2017. Before that i want to work and travel, same plan i had since so long ago.

Recently, my course senior passed away. I was not close to him, neither have I spoken to him. But just knowing he existed in my life at one point or another is just extremely upsetting. He committed suicide by jumping off a building, with reasons everyone is unsure of. That got me thinking, how much can a person take till he/she feels his life is not worth it anymore? because i know i am feeling like ending my life soon too.

I finally got the courage to tell my parents the truth of what has been going on with me recently. Like how i lost my ic and posb card, me getting fired from a part time job. I obviously did not want more on their shoulders, which is why i kept it from them. I also opened up about being suicidal having not know what i want to do and i feel very very emotionally unstable. I sleep a lot on my off days, because i am so tired of everything and my insomnia gets worse by the day. Also, sleeping is the only time no one can disturb you and you are completely blocked out from the world. But back to my parents, I expected them to tell me everything will be okay or that people are different, i should't compare myself others or rush myself to do something when i have no clue yet.

Just fyi, i was going to work at a mama shop, just to make additional cash so i get get by with life. My mom was not happy about that as she says she paid $12k for my poly education and expects me to get a better job. I probably earn more at the mama shop doing part time rather than some big company doing something i dislike. They also blamed me for depending on my friends too much, saying i treat my friends and go to my friends more than i go them. I mean, i tell my friends more stuff, obviously. But why? Because they are my parents and we have established this relationship, they have the upper hand and I listen to them and i am scared of them.

Like will i go tell my parents about my losing my virginity or stealing stuff? No? because I myself know it's wrong and they would just be telling me off and nagging at me things i have heard so much. When you tell your friends though, they tell you things to try and change your perception instead of just scolding. Lik my friends know stealing is wrong but they are putting me responsible for my actions. It has come to the point, Naomi, someone who vowed never to steal, would do it because she is what, broke? wants the thrill?? Idk, i do not even talk to most of my poly friends anymore and if you reading this, feel like i am a bad influence and/or do not wish to be my friend anymore, i understand. You would know how i am, you decide for yourself okay.

I have said this before and i will say this again, i NEVER EVER want my child to feel like this. NEVER.

I don't know what else to tell my parents, i don't know wht to do. I just want to make my own money and move out. live alone or something my whole family never thought i could do. I am going to do it. That is, if i do not kill myself first.