easter break
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Hello, just another update! First things first, Happy Easter ♡
I'm currently on easter break right now and it's been like a month since my last update, what could be different about the Naomi now right? Well not much. I have been clubbing like once in two or three weeks, just to de-stress. Even so, I did have my first break down. I had two terms test just before the Easter break. And i was just really stressed out about that.
I have been getting 80% for all my assignments and I really plan on getting 90% at least. The first two tests were basically biology. That means, a lot of memorising. I was struggling to understand the joints section and i felt like i had so little time left. I could not take it. I went up to my room one night, called Whaifen and started crying. I called my mum too. Just balling my eyes out because i was scared to fail. Or maybe i just felt like crying. Hearing their voices made me feel at home, made me feel better, gave me strength and encouragement. My friends here are really supportive too, and i am really appreciative of them, you have no idea. If I did not meet them or gotten close to them, it would be hell.
I am about to catch up on my Chemistry and Physics as I've got tests coming up.
I felt like posting something because I feel I am hung up over something and i needed to pour my emotions out somewhere. So i have been dreaming about some people I shouldn't be thinking of and when i wake up I just feel so sad. I see posts online and everything and honestly, no matter how much i tell myself I am happy for you, a small part of me would wish that was me instead. You watching my stories mean nothing to you, but i feel it is like that's your way of checking up on me and seeing how I am. I never knew what part of me was not good enough for you but that is something I will never find out.
At times like this, I feel so good about being so far away from home. Just being by myself, how i am and how i portray myself will all be on my story. No one will actually know what i am going through unless they are here or I tell them. I honestly feel my heart still hurting over someone like you, I do not hate you, I never will. I just wished you talked to me more and made it clear about what you wanted. Thank god i'm away from home, away from you. When i do come back and get to the place i want to be at in life, I hope you will be happy for me, just like how i was happy for you.
Only difference between us now is that I actually know what i want in life, while you are still tangled in the mess you created.
I pray the rest of this semester goes well and I can make it through the year. Thank you to everyone that has been supporting me ♡ I love you x
